Disclaimer: Those with pervert minds don’t read this. The phrase “do it” refers to “dating and having a relationship” in this article and NOTHING ELSE.
Recently Maya Khan, a morning show host on Samaa TV, has sparked anger and hatred among teenagers by going in to public parks and exposing couples dating. Almost everyone agrees that these were private matters which shouldn’t have been brought on television in front of the whole country. While I agree that invading someone’s privacy is wrong, I also think that dating or lip-locking in a public park isn’t exactly “private“.
First I would like to discuss why Maya Khan’s actions were wrong. The show “Subah Saweray Maya Ke Sath” has a controversial history from fake ‘peers‘ to false claimers of ‘miracles‘. And this latest issue has not helped the popularity of the show. Our media has NEVER helped in solving our social problems, and I think they shouldn’t, their job is to raise the issue and tell the public about it, they shouldn’t try to solve the issues themselves. But sadly they again and again try to do it, not for the love of the country, but for money and popularity. Similar “raids” in shopping centers and public areas have been done before by minor channels, but none of them ever solved the problem. What they do is show your name and face and just humiliate you in front of the whole country. In these cases, two families are humiliated, families which belong to a society which is highly sensitive when it comes to dignity. These issues are also private matters and NO ONE outside the two families should be concerned, especially the media, it is much better to leave the issue for them to solve. This show uses “mending the gap between parents and children” as a pathetic excuse for their actions. Frankly speaking, I don’t see how showing the parents a footage of their son/daughter dating and encouraging them to be strict about it mends the gap. Actually it increases the gap, instead of parents trying to understand the child and talking him/her out of it, they enforce punishments which inevitably lead to hatred. So we conclude on a mutual agreement that what Maya Khan did and what similar shows do DOESN’T HELP, HUMILIATES two families, is considered INVASION of PRIVACY and EXPANDS the GAP between the PARENTS and CHILDREN.
Now I come to the second side of the story. Honestly, I am against dating. Keeping aside the fact that our religion forbids us from such things, it is also immoral and un-acceptable in our society where marriages are arranged by the parents. Also it is my observation that such relationships almost NEVER work, let’s face it, the odds of you marrying your boy/girl-friend from high school, college or university are very, very low. The bottom line is that when you fall in so-called “love” with someone, you fall in love with their looks, not their personality, which ultimately ends up in a great difference of principles and actions, i. e. you fight and break-up. Calling this kind of “love” human nature is non-sense, human nature is only limited to temptations, the rest is your own choice whether you control them or just go for it. “Jawani ke mazay” is also a lame excuse, the more you grow up, the more mature you should be, I’m not saying that you should live a boring and serious life, I’m saying don’t take the “maza” beyond forbidden limits. So even after realizing that dating and having a relationship is forbidden in the religion, socially un-acceptable, highly un-likely to evolve into a happy marriage life, and just plain stupid, if you still go ahead and do it, at least don’t do it in public parks, malls or restaurants in front of the whole society where, even if a TV show doesn’t catch you and humiliate you, someone WILL. Like I said earlier, it’s not a private affair when you do it in public parks and the aforementioned places. And don’t try to attack a person who advises you against it by saying “pehlay apna girehbaan jhanko“, you don’t know the deeds of that person and at least he is doing something good when, clearly, you’re NOT.
So the conclusion of what I’m trying to say is that both parties were wrong in their actions and both need to stop it. And YES, dating and having a relationship IS considered WRONG, at least in this society.